grinning bobcat...

When I was little, I thought Pocahontas was the greatest film ever. I used lipstick as war paint in a bid to look a little bit like a native American. I sang the songs all the time. I played the video at least twice a week, much to my sister's disgust. Best of all, I was convinced that the climactic song 'Savages' was in fact a roaring chorus about... sandwiches. I hang my head in shame.

In my opinion, the greatest Disney film is The Rescuers. Its value is greatly under appreciated, but its appeal is vast. Honestly, it has everything! Firstly, it is terrifying. The nice, little orphan Penny is kidnapped by some scary people and has to make the hazardous trek down a mine to find a diamond or she will be eaten by some alligators (Sort of. I haven't seen it for a while...). Luckily she is rescued by some adventurous mice and finds a home, living happily after. Then there's the second film. Not quite as good, but certainly not to be dismissed. The villain looks just like a Kidderminster cabbie. This once led to a terrifying journey home from Morrisons...


The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast are obviously classic. Snow White is annoying, The Hunchback of Notre Dame is full of brilliant songs and a satiric juxtaposition of religion and sex, and Mulan has to be the most aesthetically pleasing film in existence...


I hate to sound like a grandmother, but they really just don't make them like they used to, do they? Watch a Disney film now and there are no spontaneous songs or soundtracks written by such national treasures as Elton John and Phil Collins. The humour is more laboured and much less subtle. And just as a parting comment, if you are lacking in things to do this rainy bank holiday weekend, watch the Jungle Book. It is obscenely brilliant. I swear I never appreciated it when I was a kid. Unlike Pocahontas...

She's a what now?

Right. Today's blog is very serious. It focuses on a matter that has perplexed and fascinated me for some time. In what way is the woman in the Phil Collins song 'Easy Lover' easy?

Now either this woman is a bit of a slut or she is "easy" to be with, love, etc. These seem to me the only two options.

So firstly, if the woman is "easy" in a schoolboy, insulting manner, would such a woman really elicit the writing of a hit song? If Phil Collins is happy to sing about 'easy' women and their apparent ability to enchant him, does he really deserve his successful (albeit slightly ridiculous) reputation? In the assumption that his lady friend is suffering from very low self esteem and therefore needs to seek assurance through using her relative attractiveness to secure men, we can then assume that young Mr Collins is oblivious to her feelings of self doubt, and he brags about the fact that he can copulate with her anyway. It is also possible that the only sort of woman Phil Collins can get with is the 'easy' sort (possibly due to the aforementioned ridiculous reputation). Either way, if the woman falls into the first 'easy' category, feminism took a severe blow on the day this song was released.

If, however the lover is 'easy' in a low-maintenance sort of way, and did indeed cause Phil Collins to fall in love with her due to her good will, the song's meaning changes completely. This seems unlikely though when we consider the lyrics of the offending song "She will play around and leave you, leave you and deceive you". The lyrics are sung light-heartedly however and Mr Collins does not seem too angry at the woman's behaviour. Her apparent flakiness does seem to hint that in fact she is a bit of a slut, which some people (normally the sluts themselves) see as a sign of female empowerment, but this is a topic best left for another time. Collins admits to an urge to 'control her'. Is it possible that he is concealing fairly sexist tendencies and wants to objectify women? Is his use of the word 'easy' in fact an embodiment of all that is wrong with with world?

The third option is that simply 'easy' seemed to just fit with the flow of the song. It is possible that the song would have been called "She's a highly principled, not at all slutty lover" had the rhythm permitted.

I am afraid that this matter may never be resolved. Do I have too much time on my hands? Not as such, but it's astonishing the lengths I will go to to avoid doing homework!