my top ten fictional heroines.

• Number One - Lisa Simpson - an eloquent, sarcastic Buddhist vegetarian Democrat nerd who campaigns tirelessly for social justice and - and is eight years old. 

"Dad, as intelligence goes up, happiness often goes down. In fact I made a graph... I make a lot of graphs."

• Number two - Juno MacGuff - an eloquent, sarcastic Democrat nerd who happens to be with child. The fact that she can be silly enough to get pregnant at sixteen and remain brilliant really says something, I think...

"I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it."

• Number three - Summer Finn - As in Summer. From 500 Days of Summer. Her name was even in the title, and I'm not sure there's a young girl alive who can watch this film without wanting to just be her. And the difference with Summer (unlike most of the females on this list) is that boys like her too. So you can always cajole one of them into watching it with you. This also works with films starring Keira Knightley and Jessica Alba, but unfortunately not really with Julie Delpy or Kristin Scott Thomas. 

"So, what if I'd gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I'd gotten there 10 minutes later? It was - it was meant to be. And... I just kept thinking... Tom was right."

• Number four - Grandmother Willow - The only member of this list who is a tree. A tree who can kick arse and scowl and advise. She is so very wise, and talks sense to Pochontas when everyone around her fails to see past the fact that she has fallen in love with the enemy. The fact that John Smith happens to be hopelessly dull seems irrelevant to all.

 

"It's enough to make your sap boil!"

• Number five - Clementine Kruczynski- From Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Kate Winslet just seems to improve tenfold when she dyes her hair orange and hooks up with Jim Carrey. Then erases him. Then hooks up with him again. She's a little bit crazy, but who isn't? All in all, a brilliant lady to admire.

"Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant."

• Number six - Lyra Belacqua- From the 'His Dark Materials' trilogy. I wish these books had been around when I was little, because I would have been able to have a fictional role model who wasn't Milly Molly Mandy (who incidentally was not even shortlisted for this little chart.) She's just so cool and fearless and gutsy. She is impulsive and unafraid to speak her mind or take a risk. I also sort of wish we could all a little animal daemon like Pantalaimon to keep us company and give advise and suchlike things.

"'I wish…' she said, and stopped. There was nothing that could be gained by wishing for it. A final, deep shaky breath, and she was ready to go on."

• Number seven - Hermione Granger - Yes alright, she whinges a hell of a lot, and she can be a bit full of herself, but she also punches the insufferable Draco Malfoy and is the cleverest witch of her age. Everyone says so. And she's muggle born, therefore disproving all the right-wing, closed minded pure-blood fanatics that threaten the wellbeing of the wizarding world.

"Wingardium Leviosa', not 'Leviosaaa!"

• Number eight - Kat "I'm not hostile, I'm annoyed" Stratford - From '10 Things I Hate About You', which despite my best efforts remains one of my favourite films. She reads 'The Bell Jar' and 'The Feminine Mystique' and refuses to mingle with her peers and their "meaningless, consumer-driven lives". Amazing.

"I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls."

• Number nine - Meg - From Hercules. She's such a mahoosive feminist and has a really cool voice. What more could you want?

"Well, you know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."

• Number ten - Jo March - From 'Little Women'

"I find it poor logic to say that because women are good, women should vote. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country." (I think this says it all)