i'll run my stick along the public railings and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

Women all over the world seem increasingly obsessed with ageing. We buy creams and lotions, botox and boobs in an attempt to postpone the arrival of wrinkles, and the start of our slippery descent into oldness. I like to think that when the time comes for me to get a bit fat and grey, I'll embrace it good-naturedly and be one of those cool old ladies who seem to model themselves on that poem about purple. Ageing is inevitable, and I think the following six ladies have done it very well indeed.

Number one - Anjelica Huston. I've been watching lots of Wes Anderson films lately with Miss Job, and I have decided that in order to be fabulous in life, I must dye my hair black, wear shit-loads of eyeliner, and somehow grow some incredible cheekbones. I'm not willing to do it quite yet, but as soon as I find grey hair, the whole lot is going jet black, Morticia Addams style. And if children run away from me in the streets, that's probably all to the good.

Number two - Anna Ford. Incidentally, I was named after this woman. The Guardian has dubbed her "glad to be grey, and still full of fire", and in spite of some of her indiscretions, I still think she has a lot of class.

Number three - Margaret Atwood. Because she writes like a dream, and she has such a cool voice. Her sense of humour is so dry and her hair is everything cool old lady hair should be.

Number four - Janet. Of Great British Bake-off fame. It's just finished, but if you didn't watch it, you should definitely find a way to watch it all illegally. This programme made my summer fly by with both its entertainment value and its ability to make me get in the kitchen and try new things. Undoubtedly, the star of the show was Janet - a sixty-something woman with the best facial expressions I think I have ever seen. Her haphazard, cheery attitude to baking (and to life) was nothing short of inspirational. I think if we were all a little more like Janet, the world would be all the better for it.

Number five - Joan Rivers. Because if the whole 'growing old gracefully' thing doesn't work for you, there is always the option of growing old disgracefully. And if Joan is anything to go by, that is just as much (if not more) fun.

Number six - Her Majesty the Queen. She is minted.

are we sluts?

CRASAC is a Coventry-based charity which provides support and information for women who have experienced sexual violence. It was brought to my attention by my friend Jonny who knew I was moving to the area and thought that perhaps I would be able to get involved. Unfortunately, what with all the gin and all the procrastinating, I haven't got round to doing anything, but I follow them on Facebook, so I know that what they are doing is vital: ridding women of the shame that seems to follow sexual abuse. I am fairly sure that one day I will end up working for some sort of women's charity, because I can honestly think of no cause more worthwhile.

On a related note, Ken Clarke was a dickhead today. Now, this is nothing new. Ken Clarke is usually a dickhead, and usually I quietly seethe, but I could not let this go. If you don't already know, this all came about when in an interview, Clarke denied that "rape is rape", categorising rape into serious, and less serious offences. It has caused an outcry in the media, and amongst women's groups, and so it bloody well should! Not only did he imply that rape is only "serious" when violence is involved, but he also said that "rape has been singled out … mainly to add a bit of sexual excitement to the headlines". 


Sexual excitement. There are no words. 


All of this comes at a time when sexual assault has come to the forefront of our conscience through the various demonstrations or "slutwalks" taking place worldwide. In order to challenge the belief held by some that when women wear suggestive clothing, they are in some way asking to be assaulted, women across the world are embracing their inner slut by going on protest marches dressed in heels and non-existent skirts. 


This in itself has sparked much controversy, but in general, I am of course in favour. The idea that assaulted women should bear any of the blame for the horrible thing that has happened to them - that they have in some way brought it upon themselves - is repugnant. And this should be the case whether the girl in question is wearing next to nothing, or wrapped up in a shapeless duffel coat. Furthermore, these campaigns are not suggesting that women should go out alone at night dressed in next to nothing, just that ideally they should be able to. 


In the brilliant teen classic "Mean Girls", Tina Fey says (and I don't even have to look this quote up) that teenage girls "have to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call [them] sluts and whores", and there are certainly those who argue that these women are sending out the wrong message, and that by using the word "slut", they are somehow encouraging men to do the same. But then it is possible that the only way of lessening the impact of this word is by making it commonplace. It's such a horrible word because there is no real masculine equivalent. A male slut is christened a player - a word with oddly positive connotations. So really what we should be (and are) saying is - yes. I'm a slut. And what?


But is this alternative form of protest really empowering? Are women still not just making an impact and finding a voice the only way they know how; by taking their clothes off? And should we not be able to challenge misconceptions while covering up? Possibly, but at the end of the day, these brave young women are challenging and changing rape culture, which can only be a good thing. Because none of these steps taken can be seen as women just making a fuss, as feminism is often seen. Women will always be physically vulnerable to men, and unfortunately women will probably always be sexually assaulted, but the blame and the stigma of talking about it must be taken away.

my top ten fictional heroines.

• Number One - Lisa Simpson - an eloquent, sarcastic Buddhist vegetarian Democrat nerd who campaigns tirelessly for social justice and - and is eight years old. 

"Dad, as intelligence goes up, happiness often goes down. In fact I made a graph... I make a lot of graphs."

• Number two - Juno MacGuff - an eloquent, sarcastic Democrat nerd who happens to be with child. The fact that she can be silly enough to get pregnant at sixteen and remain brilliant really says something, I think...

"I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it."

• Number three - Summer Finn - As in Summer. From 500 Days of Summer. Her name was even in the title, and I'm not sure there's a young girl alive who can watch this film without wanting to just be her. And the difference with Summer (unlike most of the females on this list) is that boys like her too. So you can always cajole one of them into watching it with you. This also works with films starring Keira Knightley and Jessica Alba, but unfortunately not really with Julie Delpy or Kristin Scott Thomas. 

"So, what if I'd gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I'd gotten there 10 minutes later? It was - it was meant to be. And... I just kept thinking... Tom was right."

• Number four - Grandmother Willow - The only member of this list who is a tree. A tree who can kick arse and scowl and advise. She is so very wise, and talks sense to Pochontas when everyone around her fails to see past the fact that she has fallen in love with the enemy. The fact that John Smith happens to be hopelessly dull seems irrelevant to all.

 

"It's enough to make your sap boil!"

• Number five - Clementine Kruczynski- From Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Kate Winslet just seems to improve tenfold when she dyes her hair orange and hooks up with Jim Carrey. Then erases him. Then hooks up with him again. She's a little bit crazy, but who isn't? All in all, a brilliant lady to admire.

"Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant."

• Number six - Lyra Belacqua- From the 'His Dark Materials' trilogy. I wish these books had been around when I was little, because I would have been able to have a fictional role model who wasn't Milly Molly Mandy (who incidentally was not even shortlisted for this little chart.) She's just so cool and fearless and gutsy. She is impulsive and unafraid to speak her mind or take a risk. I also sort of wish we could all a little animal daemon like Pantalaimon to keep us company and give advise and suchlike things.

"'I wish…' she said, and stopped. There was nothing that could be gained by wishing for it. A final, deep shaky breath, and she was ready to go on."

• Number seven - Hermione Granger - Yes alright, she whinges a hell of a lot, and she can be a bit full of herself, but she also punches the insufferable Draco Malfoy and is the cleverest witch of her age. Everyone says so. And she's muggle born, therefore disproving all the right-wing, closed minded pure-blood fanatics that threaten the wellbeing of the wizarding world.

"Wingardium Leviosa', not 'Leviosaaa!"

• Number eight - Kat "I'm not hostile, I'm annoyed" Stratford - From '10 Things I Hate About You', which despite my best efforts remains one of my favourite films. She reads 'The Bell Jar' and 'The Feminine Mystique' and refuses to mingle with her peers and their "meaningless, consumer-driven lives". Amazing.

"I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls."

• Number nine - Meg - From Hercules. She's such a mahoosive feminist and has a really cool voice. What more could you want?

"Well, you know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."

• Number ten - Jo March - From 'Little Women'

"I find it poor logic to say that because women are good, women should vote. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country." (I think this says it all)

I am no bird and no net ensnares me...

If you didn't already know, today is the centenary of the first ever International Women's Day. This means the interwebs are filled with feminist rants and badly written articles by supposedly empowered women. It also means that men (and women) everywhere have the opportunity to complain and to suggest that feminism is no longer necessary or even relevant. A couple of years ago if someone had said this to me, I would have embarked upon an angry (slightly squeaky) rhetoric about inequality. I would probably have used the words 'objectification' and 'chauvinism' at least twice, and rendered the person in question either a little bit frightened or a little bit amused.

I've grown up a bit. 

So now, instead of droning on about how much feminism matters, I am instead asking the question: does it? My personal opinion remains unchanged, and I would still very much consider myself a feminist, but I would like to take a softer approach to tackling inequality. Rather than evoking resentment, today should bring about debate and thanksgiving. I realise how lucky I am and I never failed to be amazed by the fact that the (relative) liberation of women is all so recent. It's too soon to be complacent. As soon as the din dies down, it passes under the radar, so apathy can't be the answer either. 

So now what? What does it mean to be a modern day feminist? We have the vote, we have equal rights , we have everything. Right? Do we really have the right to be harping on about inequality when there are women in the world who cannot vote at all? Do we really have the right to employment tribunals and equal pay when there are women who must seek permission before they are even allowed to leave the house? Erm... I think so. Maybe. I suppose the key difference is that it would be really very difficult to completely reverse a patriarchal society, whereas imposing stricter regulations so that women are not objectified in the British workplace is relatively a piece of piss. So yes, we are lucky that we don't live in a country where women are uneducated, are mutilated, are lesser citizens, but feminism is as valid as ever, in this country as well as others.

For me, one of the biggest problems Brits face is equality in the work place. There is disagreement over how much less women earn than men on average for doing the same job, but forty years after the passing of the equal pay act, even the lowest figures suggest that it's over ten percent. Then we must consider the baby factor. If I was a big-shot business tycoon, the simple fact of the matter is that I wouldn't necessarily want to employ a young woman because she would be too much of a liability. When times are hard, the last thing businesses want is to be dishing out money to employees who are not doing their job because they are selfishly too busy having ruddy children! The problem has been aggravated by the recession. Everyone has been hit, but women seem to be at a greater disadvantage, which is a real shame.

Feminism is defined as a Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. Who on earth could argue with that? The word has negative connotations - of bra burning and masculinity and aggression - but when stripped down, there is nothing in this movement, which sadly seems to be losing momentum, that doesn't make complete sense. Equality. No matter what the cost. One day we won't need a day to remind us that women are equal. 

 On a brighter note, the Guardian has today published its definitive list of the top 100 women including the likes of Maya Angelou, Angela Merkel and Rachel Maddow, but also controversially including Madonna, Lady Gaga and Thatcher, to name but a few. It's a good list, and makes for an interesting hour.

Here are my top five sites for womeny folk:

• Dorothy Surrenders
• F Bomb
• Jezebel
• Woman's Hour
• Feministing

I leave you with a link I have shared before, but it was back in May and I simply couldn't top it. I want to be her just a little tiny bit.

And failing all that...